I was chatting with a friend at ILTACON this year, after we learned that Dolly Parton had passed, and I said “I swear to God if I look at LinkedIn right now and see a superficial AI generated post about Dolly and legal tech, I will hunt them down and kick their fucking ass.”

Friends, I regret to inform you that I have a post about Dolly Parton and legal tech.

But I am getting ahead of myself. But also maybe behind? Let me explain.

Back in the days when I had the time and attention span to read full novels, “The End of the Affair” by Graham Greene was a particular favorite. It starts off with a killer opening line:

“A story has no beginning or end: arbitrarily one chooses that moment of experience from which to look back or from which to look ahead.”

I have been trying to write Blog Post Two of Sarah Glassmeyer (dot) com v 2.0 for a few weeks now. Months, really. Aside from lack of time, I could never figure out how to start or maybe more accurately WHEN or WHERE to start. You see, I’m going through this weird period where it feels like everything is coming full circle/nicely bookending itself/the burrito flaps are touching.

The thing that finally kicked me in the ass to write was that I *REALLY* wanted to write about this conference I just went to, but thought I should get Blog Post Two done first. Although once I started, I realized they were both saying a lot of the same things, so maybe I should combine them.

So here we are.

I don’t have a full thesis or plan yet for this post, but that really hasn’t stopped me before. But to give you a rough roadmap of what I’m going to cover, so you can see if you want to stick around, the plan is a little ILTACON gonzo journalism, my FEELINGS about AI, the state of legal tech, this weird Billy Pilgrim/Dr Manhattan time dilation thing I have going on, my summer vacation, and my midlife crisis that’s not really a crisis except for maybe everyone else, with brief cameos from Dolly Parton, Tim Curry, and The Pope.

Try to prompt that shit out of an AI.

So. Hi. How are things? Things are good here, or at least I think they are, and of course always with the acknowledgement of <waves hands in the general direction of everything>. I can’t say I feel better about <waves hands> things than I did last year, but I think I’ve now settled into more of a “the horrors persist and yet so do I…” stance.

Let’s start at the end with ILTACON. If we ran into each other there, let me answer some perhaps burning questions.

(1) 85 pounds and counting

(1)(a) A mix of a GLP-1 and lifestyle changes

(2) Manic Panic Electric Amethyst

(2)(a) Because I can

(3) I don’t know.

(I didn’t actually have a third question in mind but I like to do things in threes and I thought it would be funny if everyone wondered what the Hell I was referring do with that one.)

ILTACON is probably the premiere event for the legal tech industry. (Yes, I give it a slight edge over Legalweek, although I admittedly haven’t attended that since before the pandemic.) I’m on an ILTA committee and I was there as part of the Press Pool, so I was there early and got to see a lot of the behind the scenes set up and also had been absorbing a bunch of pre-show press content. I knew it was going to be Over The Top, but I was still not prepared for how much money was going to be thrown around and the general bread and circuses vibe happening.

I have a particular interest in exhibit halls as a former booth bunny so I always peep the maps ahead of time and mentally calculate the spends as I walk around the floor. When I saw the planned extreme size of a few of the vendors booths, I tried to imagine what could be going on in there. Is there going to be a roller coaster? A celebrity meet and greet? What could possibly fill up all that space?

Then I got there and it turns out they were basically the same CB2-esque furniture and offerings as most everyone else just…bigger and more attention grabbing.

Also, just as an aside, when I saw this

Like…I like Meghan Markle a lot but the TV Show suits should not take up this much space in our Industry. I refuse to watch a bunch of Marvel shit so I can be caught up and I’ll be damned if I spend time watching a 15 year old basic cable series just so I understand what’s happening in legal tech. No. Y’all can go to Hell.

ANYWAY

The conference this year had a “Broadway to Broadway” theme and during the exhibit hall opening, some people took advantage of the opportunity to dress up in Broadway (as in the US center of Theater) costumes. There were many of the expected offerings, and then I saw someone – and I would LOVE to know who it was – dressed as Frank-n-Furter from Rocky Horror. It started as a stage show and being revived on Broadway this year, so technically correct (which is the best kind of correct) but not an obvious choice. Bravo.

It was also, perhaps, Chekhov’s Transylvanian.

Maybe it’s because I’m not that far removed from my time in non-profits and access to justice (and generally not that impressed by material goods), but I am just AGOG at the amount of money dropped by vendors for frankly frivolous things. About 15 years ago when I made a similar complaint about swag – yes, I’ve been a professional stick in the mud going on two decades now – I was told “well librarians don’t make a lot of money so AALL is their time to kick back and have fun so let them enjoy being gifted by vendors..” I thought that was a stupid excuse then and it’s a harder sell to an audience of mostly big law employees. Just so much…stuff…for such a short amount of time.

Unless…

Nah…

But also, with all the excess of ILTACON, it was especially bitterly ironic that Dolly Parton happened to die during it.

I am a long time Dolly Parton lover. She was a genius – musical and otherwise – was unapologetically herself and never stopped working to help others. She didn’t take a vow of poverty – those wigs ain’t cheap, honey – but didn’t hoard it. She started the Imagination Library and invested the money she got from Whitney Houston’s cover of I Will Always Love You into predominately black neighborhoods and defended and welcomed LGBTQIA attendance at Dollywood when that probably turned off a bunch of her traditional fan base. You can list examples of her righteousness forever. I’m not Jewish, but I have always believed that she’s one of the Lamed Vav Tzadikim and one of the best humanity has to offer. She’s basically everything I want to be and earlier this year when I was going through a hard time, I saw a “What Would Dolly Do” balloon and honestly took it as a sign from the universe.

Dolly died and I was surrounded by so much waste and self absorption and physical manifestations of greed and it was so depressing.

Now granted, I’m a dirty hippie deeply aware of the access to justice crisis and general budget crunches faced by those trying to fix it plus <waves hands around again at state of the world> but I honestly would be more impressed by some of the money dropped on booth rentals and swag and events to be used to give ITLACON scholarships to academics and legal aid workers, or to do some sort of justice themed good deed event, or basically take a moment and do something to acknowledge that we’re not just the regular tech industry, we’re the LEGAL tech industry and as the legal system is the OS of society, we have a higher ethical obligation and should always be working to make the legal system more functional and accessible for all.

And maybe that did happen. I believe I saw a comment from Ed Walters somewhere on LinkedIn that CLIO hosted some sort of social good/charity event. If any other company did some sort of social betterment activity, I would love to know and I’ll share the Hell out of it. (In fairness, since ILTA wrapped and I started writing this blog post, I’ve learned Harvey is launching a Pro Bono project, Legora is going to do something with Free Law, and Clio has hired Pablo Arredondo and Bridget McCormick to innovate the court system. [May the Odds be ever in your favor, Tyler Technologies.] ) But still…I just can’t imagine having massive amounts of literally life changing resources at my disposal and wasting so much of it on a three and a half day dick swinging contest.

Dolly would never.

So ILTACON was exhausting and then Dolly died, so I honestly spent most evenings in my room watching Dolly tribute videos on Instagram and YouTube and crying.

And then Tim Curry died.

So I watched more Instagram and YouTube tribute videos for him and cried more.

I can’t say I was as huge of a fan of Tim Curry as I was Dolly, but I did love him. I first saw Rocky Horror live when I was 14 (the benefit of being a younger sibling) and it was…transformative, to put it mildly.

So there I was, in my hotel room snuffling as I watched old interviews, and in one he said [paraphrasing] “of course Frank-n-Furter is parody of Dr. Frankenstein..”

Wait, what?

Friends, can I tell you that I can’t even count the number of times that I’ve seen Rocky Horror and I don’t know that I ever picked up on that?

I must have and just forgot. Right?

Hello, it is I, the person for whom the writers that don’t use subtext write for.

BUT OH MY GOD OF COURSE. AND HOW PERFECT FOR THIS MOMENT IN TIME.

So, to get us all on the same page…Frankenstein, the novel, is about a doctor that tries to make a human by piecing together a bunch of human parts. It’s subtitle is “The Modern Prometheus”, Prometheus being a Titan that gave fire to humanity. It’s basically about ethics and responsibility of science and technological work. Lots of people use it as a metaphor, even me in 2018…

If Frankenstein is a metaphor for creating and using technology, then Dr Frank-n-Furter – who APPARENTLY is OBVIOUSLY a hedonistic Dr Frankenstein – is the match for our age where we see tech companies of all stripes basically lighting money on fire and otherwise going for as much instant gratification as possible instead of thinking holistically or socially or really taking anything instead of one’s own pleasure.

Of course that’s not the only message of Rocky Horror and why it’s so beloved, especially by those who are marginalized or otherwise feel like they’ve never belonged. (Maybe even a big enough message to cause me to miss the obvious parallels to Shelly…) That message? Stop being so boring and let your freak flag fly. Basically.

This is a good time to loop you in on what’s been going on with me.

But to understand my now, you need to understand me of 15 years ago. This is where we start to get into that burrito thing I alluded to earlier.

Okay, in 2011 and the years leading up to it, basically everything was coming up Glassmeyer. Professionally, personally, socially, physically…every thing was great and getting better all the time. I was winning awards, getting head hunted for jobs, traveling a lot (both to speaking gigs and just exploring on my own), had a popping social life, was doing really interesting things intellectually and creatively…

And then, like Mike Campbell’s fortune, I lost it all gradually and then suddenly.

Social circle gone, a series of frustrating professional situations, a non-elective hysterectomy, my mental health cratered and I put on 70 pounds in 4 months, MY MOM DIED SUDDENLY, a lot of doubt and second guessing of choices…basically there were several times over the past 15 years that I thought I hit rock bottom and then I discovered Hell had a basement.

The whole rise of fascism thing hasn’t helped, to be honest.

I have come to the realization that a lot of the problems I had over the past decade and a half – I mean, not my mom dying or my uterus trying to kill me but a lot of the professional and social ones – were at their root the same ones I’m having currently having with my industry and society as a whole. And this is where I sound like an asshole. Or, maybe worse yet, very cringe.

Okay, so I never feel like I fit in anywhere. I’m sure everyone probably feels like that to an extent. For me it started with my parents being City People – Catholic City People at that – who moved to small rural (heavily Protestant) town and that seemed to start my journey of being IN something but not OF something. I always seem to be in a liminal space between identities.

This is where the real asshole/cringe part starts…

I also always seem to stand out. And I don’t ever really mean to or want to. (And if you’re thinking “girl, didn’t you just say you had bright purple hair at ILTACON?” And the answer is yes but also…so what?) I really don’t try to be quirky or weird or different than anyone else and actually I think everyone’s thinking like I’m thinking and I’m blending in until it is brought to my attention that perhaps I am not.

Usually negatively. Lots of negative attention. Either because of what I was saying or thinking or the attention I was getting for it. And if you really don’t like getting any attention, receiving negative attention is The Worst.

So I spent the better part of a decade shaving down my corners and trying to make my square peg fit into everyone else’s round hole. And I was miserable and it still didn’t work so I decided “to hell with it.” Judy Garland was right. “Always be a first rate version of yourself and not a second rate version of someone else.” Because I’m really good at being Sarah Glassmeyer and not so good at anything else.

I’ve stopped masking and tried to be my authentic self as much as possible and you know what? I’m a lot happier. Good things are happening both personally and professionally. (One of the many fun bookends/burrito flaps is that in 2011 i went to my first “lawyer” event which was COLPM and this year I was inducted as a fellow.) I really do feel like I am back to where I was in 2011. And weirdly enough? I’m back to the weight I was on 2011. It’s like I’ve shed both the literal and metaphorical weight of the last 15 years.

But it’s not all swell. I joke that “the devil couldn’t get me so he made me a S Tier Poaster so that I’d never be taken seriously by anyone in power ever.” and that’s kind of true. The part about people in power thinking I’m kind of a goof if not also deeply annoyed by me, that is. The Devil has better things to do than worry about me.

And it sucks sometimes to realize “oh this person I deeply respect is rather annoyed by me rather regularly” or “I’m never going to be asked to do certain things because I guess I don’t fit these people’s vibe.” But I can either make everyone else happy or me and I’m gonna choose me

Basically I am living my life by three principles:

(1) the only thing I have to do is pay taxes and die

(2) if no one is coming to save me, then no one will probably try to stop me

(3) I’m not trapped on here with you, you’re tapped in here with me.

I’m also trying to have more real and authentic experiences and be as fully present for them as I can. After having no solo vacations for over a decade, I went to England in June of this year. My last significant visit was in June of 2011 when I was there on a professional retreat and had to decide my future. This year I went as a belated birthday gift and to put a lid on last few years and kick off my next era. I also wanted to soak up art and culture and touch old stuff and basically fill my tanks so that I have the context to deal with <waves hands in general direction of everything>. And not try to create content out of it or do it for the ‘gram.

The more I lean into being as authentic and engaged with life as I can be, watching people who frankly already have more than a little touch of the Ovis about them really just start to hand over more and more of themselves to AI is like being trapped in a horror movie. Or at least an episode of The Twilight Zone.

It’s weird enough people use their opportunities to express themselves – which is the whole deal of social media – and turn it over to spicy auto complete. Especially because I know these people know that things like algorithms are not neutral and the training data and designs of LLMs are even less so. They’re not just turning over their creative opportunities but also their absorption opportunities as well as all the little things that make up life. There was a thing floating around about using GenAI to write bed time stories for your children and it really made me sick to my heart because…your kids don’t want a story. They want time with you and to share hopes and dreams and wishes and fears. Why would anyone want to give up the most valuable parts of their life? So you can save time to do what?

Just go read this and come back.

You back? Okay.

The real conspiratorial part of me thinks the goal of all of this to make us all conformists — I can’t ignore the intertwining of Silicon Valley and how they’re becoming increasingly proud and loud about their racist, sexist, anti-LGBTQIA, fascist, etc beliefs. I’m not saying that being authentic and weird and yourself is a revolutionary act – Albert Camus said that, actually – but…no actually maybe I am saying that too.

Also? Without Joy, what is the fucking point?

Know who else kinda agrees with me? The Pope.

Yeah, that’s right, SouthSide Bob in the house and he’s talking about AI. Right before I left for vacation he dropped his first encyclical Magnifica humanitas, or “Magnificent Humanity.” (Points at title of this post.) It’s a lot to unpack. This is a good summary to start with.

Okay…I think I’ve rambled enough. Now that I’ve ripped the bandaid off of posting here, I really do intend to do more and on more random topics (and shorter.) I am also planning on expanded Sarah Glassmeyer Omnimedia into more fun branches of media.

Until the next time, stay weird.

my summer vacation: